Big step
I took a big step today. I traded in a guitar I’ve had for just about 5 years towards a new one. I’ve been thinking about it awhile.
This was my first good guitar; I bought it a week after I returned from my very first camp, having been dazzled by the array of beautiful guitars the other women had. A lot of fine musicians and finer people have played that guitar, including A, and I always feel like guitars carry the energy of everyone who has ever played them. When I found myself desperately, desolately, lacking in mementos after A died, I comforted myself with the fact that at least I had my guitars that he had played. There were two of them; now, I only have one that he once held in his hands, though I daresay he liked the one I have better than the one I sold. I will keep that one.
I was pensive during the process, but when I found out they’d make me an acceptable offer for mine, there really was never any question of backing out for sentimental reasons. The one I traded in I can’t play; it made my left hand cramp up. And A wouldn’t have been in favor of my keeping a guitar that hurt me. Plus, I didn’t need another guitar; so my net guitar gain is zero, which is good.
I haven’t had any seller’s remorse yet, just the occasional twinge of knowing one more thing has been lost, or let go, however freely. I hope regret doesn’t find me.