Being is believing
They get me every time. Twice a year with the time change, I’ll turn on KFOG to listen to 10@10 only to find it’s not there in the fall, and that I just missed it in the spring. I was an hour early today, so I listened to the radio until the show came on. That and the fact that there’s now only an hour time difference between me and my folks again are the only ways that the end of DST affects me.
Last year I made the same mistake, of course, and the change was just another sad, sorry reminder of how my life was so unappealingly different. I got to lunchtime today, though, and my reaction was totally different. My first thought was, “Dang, having 10@10 on at 11 made the morning go faster, because by the time it’s over, it’s nearly noon, and then it’s only an hour until lunch.” For the first time since he died, the time change was not immediately associated with him, and was not a grief trigger. I thought about it later in reference to A, but it was more of a passing acknowledgment than a deep mulling over of my sad state.
Progress. I stop and take a picture of every milestone to remind myself how far I’ve come, in case I forget. I never believed it possible I could come this far until I realize that I’m here.