Still too young for this
I got news that the friend of an ex-friend passed away suddenly, either today or she was found today, from an apparent heart attack. E told me; he got the e-mail. I don’t talk to this ex-friend anymore, due to irreconcilable differences, but I don’t wish her ill, and I sent her a condolence e-mail. I know what it’s like to lose someone totally unexpectedly to a cardiac death, though she knows that, and I didn’t have to say it.
At times like this, I don’t know what to say any better than anyone else. The edge my experience gives me is that I know what NOT to say, and that can be a blessing. Every time I hear of someone’s passing, I keep it brief, to say “I’m sorry” and wish the bereaved peace and comfort. Those were all I wanted, besides having A back. At least peace and comfort were, theoretically, attainable.
After work, I had to stop at Trader Joe’s for milk; at the checkstands they always have a little display of greeting cards for the major occasions and a few blank ones. Right in front were sympathy cards. I grabbed two and gave them to the cashier. I won’t send one to the ex-friend; the e-mail was enough given our relationship now, but sympathy cards seem like something I should have on hand. It certainly feels like there is frequent need of them. It seems to me that you know you’re a grown-up when you keep sympathy cards on hand, knowing, however sadly, that they won’t go to waste.