Of two minds
It’s 97 degrees in San Jose today, as a heat wave toasts the Bay area. I saw that, and was thinking that if he were here, he’d be downing liquids by the quart in his shop, wearing one of his sleeveless tops and his requisite Cabela shorts. His shop had a large garage-type door that opened to the outside that he’d have open while he worked, so while he was sheltered, he was virtually outside, and didn’t have any air conditioning. And then I was sad as I "realized" that he wouldn’t be drinking anything on this hot day; man doesn’t even have a body anymore.
It’s funny how the mind works. My first thought was "if he were here…," so clearly, the fact that he is not is not lost on me, and yet somehow it was the second thought that surprised me with an emotional response to that fact. Same brain, same train of thought, but the emotional content of two adjacent thoughts was so different.
If I cannot understand my own mind, how could I ever hope to understand the entire universe?
I think we are all stuck there…the not being able to comprehend it at all. I sometimes am stunned when 4:30 rolls around and I am not there, at the door, to take his lunch pail from him and give him a kiss.