We never lack for members of this club
Tonight I read a blog with a link to a blogger who had just lost his son, a pool accident. The little boy drowned. There was a video there, of him and his son, and they were so cute together. It is terribly sad.
It’s a strange thing, now, to witness the losses of others. There is a strange calm I feel, even with the sadness. I think it comes of a deep knowing of what this father and mother are going to go through, pain-wise, if not the particulars. And all I can do is sigh with understanding, and send out a prayer to them, because they’re going to need it.
Unexpectedly, it doesn’t trigger more pain for me, reading about others’ losses. It doesn’t highlight my loss in sharp, jagged, painful relief. Rather, it triggers deep compassion for those who have just joined this most horrific of clubs. They have a long road ahead of them; I know, because I have been traveling it, walking in the footsteps of those who have traveled it before me. The sad thing about this world is that we will have many opportunities to reach back to those who follow us down this lonely road; but perhaps that is a form of grace, to be a beacon of hope to others and find healing therein. The light we shine may be through windows that are still cracked and smoky, and not entirely repaired yet, but the light shines nonetheless.
My wishes for the grieving, now that I’ve been there:
- I wish you peace, in small moments, in special signs, and eventually in your memories.
- I wish you understanding loved ones, who will be there for you to help you through this. I wish you better than most of us receive on this point.
- I wish you time to deal, instead of having to rush right back into the world and pretend to be okay when you are so very not okay.
- I wish you a long and strong memory of the good, even the smallest bits. Those are often the sweetest.
- I wish you the strength to relinquish that which threatens to crush you with guilt. All is forgiven. All is forgiven. Forgive yourself.
- I wish you fuel for the eternal flame of hope in your soul, which will be so grievously dimmed for a time.
- I wish you peace. I wish us all peace.