Dear A,
It was all Elton John’s fault today. “Burn Down the Mission” came on shuffle, from the same album as your beloved “Amoreena,” and very much in the same style. I’d been keeping myself busy all day. When I’m busy I can pretend I’m strong and coping and all that shit. And maybe I am. But all it took was a few bars of a song, not even the one I know was a favorite of yourn, and I was missing you badly, touching your picture on my monitor, feeling the now-familiar ache in my heart and my eyes hot with tears behind them, threatening to spill.
I miss you, Babe. I never stop missing you.
I’ve gotten better, stronger, but even so, it’s STILL the hardest thing I’ve ever done, living without you here every day. I still can’t believe it, even as I live it.
Love,
Your Girl Left Behind